vunereal pursuit
by crankypanda93
Summary: Venereal    vuh- neer-ee-uhl   5. Sexual desire or intercourse…  a sasu/naru with kaka/iru backing. M for sex scenes  complete


my attempt at a funny story. i have no memory of where the idea came from. i think it jumped me in some dark alleyway and beat me around the head with a baseball bat until i conceded and said i would write it.

also, this story was written over 6 months ago so i apologise.

disclaimer: i do not own naruto, masashi kishimoto does. i just play with his toys for my own amusement. (thanks akirasesshoumarumalfoy for the ingenious disclaimer)

Summary: venereal (vuh-neer-ee-uhl)

5. sexual desire or intercourse… sasunaru

Venereal Pursuit.

Naruto looked at Sasuke again as he struggled to contain his laughter.

The Uchihas eyebrow began to twitch. That was it, the cherry on the cake. Naruto lost it, all his mirth spilt out as he fell to the ground, clutching at his sides as he struggled to breathe.

_It was just so fucking funny!_

He rolled over and peered at Sasuke through his tear induced blurry vision, laughter still starving his oxygen deprived lungs.

Slowly he made out the almost satanic red glow of Sasuke's eyes in a livid face. Then his eyes focused on the vase which happened to be the nearest object at hand…

_Shit!_

"Ok, so perhaps placing that ad in the paper was a bad idea..." Naruto groaned as he adjusted the steak over his blackened eye, trying not to jostle bruised and aching muscles.

Kiba began to laugh.

"Perhaps!" he snorted "the bastard beat the shit out of you, then left you to his fan girls to finish off!"

Naruto scowled then quickly schooled his expression to calm as tears of pain pricked his eyes, his every muscle screaming for surrender, Kyuubi was letting him suffer a bit before he healed him because he felt that provoking the Uchiha intentionally warranted the suffering in the hope that it would fix his stupidity. They both knew it wasn't going to work.

Naruto growled at his friend, and gave the steak to Akamaru who was sitting at his side looking at Naruto hopefully and following his every movement, despite the slow pace and limited range.

Sometimes Naruto felt that being the only one able to press the Uchihas buttons was a burden, he felt that, as the only one able to get a rise out of the Teme that he had to do it more often to make up for it. He remembered that mornings prank and sniggered _never mind, the reactions are too fun and priceless for it to be burden._

Ah, despite the beating and bruises, it was a good day.

"Yeah, well the look of horror on the Teme's face and disappointment on the fan girls were just so good, I'm doing it again"

Kiba raised both eyebrows and barked out a laugh. "So posting an ad in the local paper that Sasuke fucking Uchiha was looking for a bride and was holding interviews is going to work a second time." He raised a hand "ok so the hordes of drooling girls will probably fall for it again but really?"

Naruto snickered ignoring the spasm of pain the movement brought "I never said I'd do the same prank again, just that I would prank him at all again." His mind began whirring through all the possibilities.

There were advantages to being ninja. It was possible to sneak into bedrooms and short sheet beds, changing shampoo for hair die, baiting doors with sticky traps, mucking with plumbing in showers and booby trapping the refrigerator. All of which, of course, Naruto did, resulting in a livid, hungry, smelly, twitchy, sticky, red headed Uchiha and some utterly destroyed bed sheets. Naruto was going to die.

Sasuke found the number one ninja at surprising people surprisingly easily. It was a simple case of following the sound of evil cackling that could be heard through most of Konoha to its source. One Uzumaki Naruto. Standing by the blonde's window Sasuke came to a conclusion. If he was going to murder the blonde idiot he was going to enjoy it. Going to a spa and getting food. Hopefully at the same time. After eating large amounts of onigiri one satisfied Uchiha sat in the bathwater relaxing the last of the twitching muscles away while plotting a murder plan. That is until he heard the tell-tale signs. The thundering feet, the waft of overly flowery perfume and the high pitched squeals of "Sasuke! I want your baby!"

A horde of fan girls. Sasuke had never gotten dressed so quickly. He was gone before the worshippers even hit the front door.

Hiding just out of the way he caught a certain rosette cry to her blonde pony-tailed friend,

"But Naruto said he'd be here" followed shortly by sniffs and sobs.

The straw that broke the camel's back. Naruto wasn't only going to die, he would do so slowly and painfully and the Uchiha was going to enjoy this greatly with lots of blood and screaming.

Although there was no sound, movement or warning Naruto knew the second Sasuke was there, he felt the skin-cells on the back of his neck die as they received the death glare of doom ©Sasuke Uchiha. He slowly turned his hand rubbing the back of his neck and preparing for a severe beating. He saw the red of the Sharingan a split second before he saw the fist, flying towards his cheek, a speed too great to dodge; he flew back across the room with the force of the hit, skidding to a stop just short of the wall. Then he flew forward barely pausing before he engaged with Sasuke in a flurry of kicks and punches. Neither of them drew weapons or used excessive chakra, it was a pure test of physical strength.

Neither of them knew how it had happened, one moment they were fighting the next they were exchanging furious kisses as they rubbed against each other and pulled the other close, not wanting to walk away, to be alone, and to lose what they had suddenly found as abruptly as it had come. Naruto shivered as a cool breeze and calloused palm grazed gently across the smooth, firm, heated skin of his stomach, his shirt slowly lifting, allowing more contact between the two. A warm hand settled on his hip the other cupping his jaw as Narutos hands occupied themselves with holding Sasuke close, one hand in feather soft ebony the other draped across a shoulder occasionally clenching a shirt with unfamiliar but welcomed feelings. When Narutos head started to spin in a combination of arousal and oxygen deficiency he reluctantly pulled his mouth away from the urgent kisses. He let his head fall back against the wall with a gentle thump. His face flushed and eyes glazed. Sasuke leaned forward and started to kiss Narutos jaw working his way to below the ear before pausing in his ministrations and murmuring softly, "Naruto"

The blonde stiffened at his name, Sasuke freezing, afraid of what the action meant. The blond looked searchingly at Sasuke before swiftly moving into action, sucking, licking and nipping at the ravens neck while tugging furiously at clothing, determined to get access to as much of Sasuke as possible, _he was not going to lose this_.

Once he had successfully removed the Uchihas shirt Naruto abandoned everything else to run his eyes, mouth and hands over every inch of ivory skin he could. His eyes drinking in every contour, angle, plain and feature on offer, his mouth tasting every inch of skin, relishing the taste that was purely Sasuke and hands running over everything, calloused hands raising a trail of Goosebumps as they tried to commit everything to memory , afraid he would never see this again. Sasuke groaned in pleasure and took over the job of removing every article of infuriating cloth between their bodies. Revealing tan and ivory all too slowly. As soon as the last item of clothing was removed Sasuke took Narutos hands, stopping his mission and then slowly brought them to his mouth and kissed them.

"Naruto." He murmured again then captured Narutos mouth in a searing kiss. They sank slowly to the floor. Sasuke gently lay Naruto down, never breaking the kiss. Naruto gently rubbed his thigh against Sasukes cock.

"Let's do this…"

Sasuke looked at Naruto with uncertainty

"You sure?"

Naruto nodded and sighed softly as the Uchiha slowly trailed kisses down his front.

He stopped above Narutos erection and licked it once from base to tip. Slowly running his nose across the tip, teasing the sensitive flesh in front of him. With a quick glance at Naruto who was quivering with anticipation he slowly and sinfully sank his mouth over Naruto. The blonde cried out in pleasure as the Uchiha began to suck, not enough to make Naruto come, but enough to make him writhe on the floor and try to arch into Sasukes mouth, forcing the Uchiha to hold his hips down to avoid choking. He then trailed back up Narutos front dipping his tongue into his navel and then up to his nipples, licking over them before sucking and nipping at them, changing from one to the other occasionally. Not knowing what to do with his hands, Naruto had flung them above his head and was moaning in ecstasy. Sasuke used his knee to slide Narutos legs apart, lowering himself he looked at Naruto, and froze.

Naruto noticing the absence of action from the Uchiha lifted his head and saw Sasuke staring at him. He shifted uncomfortably, and saw Sasukes eyes follow his groin. He flushed and felt annoyed.

"Sasuke what is it?"

Sasuke continued to stare blankly. Naruto felt his face burn, _what the hell? It had been going so well, Sasuke takes one look at him and turns into a freaking ice sculpture!_

Naruto roughly shoved Sasuke away with his leg started collecting his clothes. Sasuke whispered something inaudible.

Naruto rounded on him seething. "WHAT?"

"I don't know where to stick it…" Sasuke said again quietly before looking up at Naruto his face flushed with embarrassment and his eyes wide. "I mean I knew it would be different because well we're both guys but still… I have no idea what to do."

Naruto paused. Come to think of it he didn't know either; he had thought the raven genius would have known…

"It's ok" he said softly kneeling in front of the lost Uchiha and cupping his face and kissing him chastely on the mouth before finishing dressing and moving towards the door.

"We'll just ask"

"NO!" Sasuke growled and grabbed Naruto. "No one is to know about this. No one, not the pervert and definitely not the silver haired pain in the arse." Sasuke hissed Sharingan flickering.

Narutos eyes narrowed, and he thought Sasuke wanted this. But without knowing how to… he removed Sasukes hand, and growled back,

"What's the matter Teme, embarrassed by me? Am I not worth it to you? Just some quick fuck to get it out of your system so you can move on and kill me next time without any qualms. If we can't ask anyone how the hell can we find out how to do it? You know what, never mind, you're too ashamed of me so you know what Uchiha, it ain't happening" he finished with a snarl eyes red. He shoved Sasuke away and was about to walk out when a kunai slammed into the door, in effect locking it closed. Naruto clenched his fists and turned to yell at the _fucking arse wipe that wouldn't just piss off!_ He stopped suddenly as gentle lips pressed to his own.

"Naruto..." Sasuke murmured quietly and lowly. Naruto froze. "It's not that I'm ashamed of you, but I don't want people like Itachi or Orichimaru to target you because of me-"

"That's no excuse, if you remember the Atkatsuki targeted me anyway you-"Sasuke silenced him with another slow gentle kiss. _If he thinks he can keep shutting me up with kisses I'm going to bite his damn lips off._

"And then there is always the fan girls" he whispered, his breath brushing Narutos lips and cheeks. Naruto shuddered. Not because Sasuke turned him on, although he did, but from true fear of the rabid fan girls… Naruto shut the thoughts off before he could imagine what they would do to him.

"So what the hell are we supposed to do to?" Naruto said hotly, trying to disguise the fact that Sasuke actions were turning him into mush.

"I don't know." Sasuke paused for a moment then smirked. "We could turn it into a mission. We have to find this information without getting caught. Whoever finds it first gets the other immediately."

Naruto pouted. "And if we can't find anything in 3 days we ask the pain in the arse."

Sasuke frowned "three days isn't much time"

"Three days is too long" Naruto groaned, holding Sasuke close to emphasise his point.

Sasuke sank his head onto Narutos shoulder. "Fine make it two."

Naruto sniggered this would be too easy. All he had to do was disguise himself walk into an adult shop and 'flick through' a book which would tell him all. _MWAHAHAHAH! _He needed a henge that wouldn't seem suspicious to see in an adult shop and wouldn't warrant a question in identity. He knew exactly what to do.

Sasuke thought it was relatively easy after some planning. The junior pervert and Iruka had to have sex all the time, especially with the pain in the arse being, well, him. As damaging as it would be, all he had to do was follow the copycat Nin until he and Iruka got together. And yes, he would watch the deed. He shuddered it would be horrific to watch the aptly named silver haired pain in the arse in action but, he was a ninja, and not only that but he was an Uchiha damnit! Ten years' worth of nightmares would not put him off.

He wandered the pervert's usual haunts for a few hours before spotting him as he made his way to the adult shop. He was surprised that the silver haired Nin was heading over so late when he saw the signs that the new Icha Icha book had just been released, he expected the pain in the arse to be the sort to camp outside the store the night before to get there first thing. He made himself discrete as he watched him enter the store.

Kakashi looked around, feeling as if heaven had come to earth yet again. Maybe Sasuke had finally snapped and killed him, or was it some random Nin who recognised him, or more likely yet, some strange old lady who beat him to death with her handbag because she thought he was the white fang. He shook himself; no he would have remembered that.

But the newest Icha Icha book was in. he couldn't wait to try and convince his little dolphin to do some of the techniques and tricks. It wasn't likely to work but the blushing flustered Iruka was so cute it made up for it.

He suddenly picked up a familiar chakra, little brat was up to his tricks again. Without looking up he spoke

"Yo! Naruto you're a bit young for this place aren't you?" he felt the body stiffen and looked up. He came face to face with himself. His only visible eyebrow rose.

"Naruto what are you up to." A look of panic shifted across the visible eye in the face in front of him before the henge disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"RUN AWAY!" Naruto cried, running out of the store as fast as he could.

Sasuke snorted as he watched the orange blur streak out of the shop. How could anyone have not seen that coming, any half capable idiot would have recognised that chakra? He winced as he realised that he had followed Naruto to the shop thinking it was the silver haired pain in the arse. No damnit! He was an Uchiha! That meant he didn't make mistakes, he had simply known that Naruto would fail and so, knowing he had been following Naruto the entire time, he had simply wanted to see the result.

While convincing himself of this using a strange combination of logic, chemicals, mathematical equations and a chunk of a time space theorem known only to Uchihas he had followed the pervert junior back to Iuka's and found himself in the tree looking into the bedroom. He was all set.

He heard footsteps up the stairs and perked his ears up and prepared his brain for the onslaught. He then watched as a semi dressed Iruka stormed in followed by his shirtless silver haired lover, his eyes then followed Iruka as he then stomped straight across the room and slammed the door to the ensuite in the perverts face, barely missing his nose.

The former ANBU simply leaned against the door frame and knocked softly on door.

"NO KAKASHI I AM NOT TURNING INTO A PRETZEL FOR YOUR PERVERTED PLEASURE! AND FOR EVEN CONSIDERING THAT OTHER TECHNIQUE THERE WILL BE NO SEX FOR A MONTH! AND IF YOU EVEN THINK OF TRYING THAT GODDAMN HOUSE OF YOURS- YES KAKASHI I KNOW ABOUT IT- THERE WILL BE NO SEX FOR YOU EVER AGAIN!"

The Jounin had lost his entire cool demeanour and was now kneeling at the door, banging on it and bawling his eyes out.

"But my dolphin! My sweetness, but noooo….."

Sasuke couldn't help it; he sniggered, served the damned pervert right. He blinked, the silver headed Nin had disappeared. He spun around flinging a kunai out of instinct as he sensed his mentor's chakra. It was easily deflected by another kunai swinging lazily around one forefinger as he leaned back against the tree trunk.

"ma, Sasuke I must say, you're turning out to be more perverted than I expected" this earned a twitch from the Uchiha avenger "why are you spying through our bedroom window and sniggering may I ask?"

Sasuke scowled.

"You guys are going through the whole 'what's under the mask?' thing again aren't you? Is that why Naruto was disguised as me this morning?"

Sasuke continued to scowl and glared menacingly at the silver haired pervert.

"I think we are a little past that don't you Kakashi" he snapped out. The Nin grinned

"So what are you doing here?" Sasukes eyes widened, he couldn't tell the pervert, it went against his every instinct.

"RUN AWAY!" Sasuke cried, running away from Iuka's as fast as he could.

This was it, the end of day 2. Their last chance before asking the pervert- or pervert junior. And after much plotting the duo decided that their best choice and last resort was to try and capture that orange book. But how?

As the two boys fought under the Jounin's watchful eye, one of Narutos clones slowly snuck up on their sensei. Hiding his chakra very carefully he rounded the tree slowly before keeling over and disappearing in shock. Naruto stopped in anger as his clone's memories returned, allowing Sasuke to pin him. As they grappled Naruto hissed to Sasuke.

"Pervert isn't watching, he is reading the book."

Sasuke, grimly, nodded once. He then allowed Naruto to get to his feet then pushed so that they both skidded back as if in a draw.

"Kakashi, this is getting old, can we do the activity where we try to get the bells off you? Thanks put away that perverted shit and get the damn bells out." He said haughtily and moving off to the side without waiting for an answer from the silver haired pervert.

Kakashi slowly turned another page. Used to the behaviour of his former pupil. He continued to read even giggle until he saw the Uchiha begin to twitch. Ah, making the Uchiha pissy was one of his favourite pastimes. It was fun. Carefully he put the book away into his pocket and then brought out the bells.

"Now I know you guys haven't done this in a while but I need you to remember that-" the nin didn't get to finish as he suddenly found himself dodging a blazing fireball and then tackled by an orange cannon ball, or rather several of them.

"Head on tackles don't work" he finished in a puff before changing into log, Naruto cursed.

"Damn replacement technique."

His clones and himself turned as multiple explosions were heard, Sasuke having followed his mentor with his Sharingan had set off a handful of tags forcing him to move again into the clearing.

The battle began.

Progressively Naruto and Sasuke formed a pattern, Naruto would harass their old sensei and keep attacking him (trying to get the book without him noticing) while Sasuke kept him in the clearing and set up traps in an attempt to allow Naruto to get in close. Kakashi began forming retaliation when suddenly the pattern changed. His eyes widened, something was up. He grunted as Sasuke landed a kick on his stomach but he didn't back down. He whirled to face his former student but was shocked when Sasuke was gone, a grinning Naruto and several clones in his place. He then began to dodge and destroy the clones, when he was suddenly stopped, something was wrong with this… as he was about to destroy the last clone it suddenly began to fight back with a speed which even Naruto was denied, found Sasuke.

Sasuke's henge disappeared as he activated his Sharingan and came in for close battle with his old sensei...

Several moments later the silver haired Nin sat grinning as Naruto swung from the tree cussing and trying to get untangled. Sasuke scowled tied to the tree with ninja wire after trying to rescue Naruto.

"Ok so I won." The pervert junior said putting the bells away and getting out his book. The boys were getting desperate.

"Ne, Kakashi!" Naruto practically screeched. "Let's go get some ramen!"

Kakashi paused, he hadn't eaten with his former students in a while but Iruka was at home…

"Iuka said no sex for a month, remember? I bet you taking us out for ramen will get you in his good books again." Sasuke said quietly, Naruto unhearing over his attempts to untangle himself.

Kakashi quirked, damn….

They never made it to the Ichiraku stand…

As they pushed through the crush of people on their way to the ramen stand Sasuke took a risk and attempted to pick the former ANBU's pocket for the book. As his fingers brushed the edge of the book a hand wrapped around his wrist drawing it out of the pocket without the Jounin's knowledge. Angry onyx looked up and locked with worried blue, Naruto gave a slight shake of his head then nodded to their mentor; Sasuke looked up just as the Nin withdrew the book from his pocket and began to read it.

Phew that was close. He looked back to Naruto who then grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sasuke raised an eyebrow then spun around when he heard the pervert junior cough.

There was Iruka, standing in an alley, blushing and fiddling with the hem of his shirt seductively, giving the silver haired Nin glimpses of tan flesh every now and then.

Sasuke snorted as the pain in the arse gave a giggle and rushed over to drool and hopefully make out. The pervert junior was thinking with his dick and not his head or he would know that it was a Naruto clone. Naruto breathed beside Sasuke

"This is going to be gross…"

Before Sasuke could ask, 'Iruka' began to make out with their sensei. Sasuke growled and turned to Naruto who had paled.

"Just wait"

Sasuke clenched his teeth and hands. Glaring at the ground a few feet in front of him.

"Catch" Naruto muttered, Sasuke looked up in time to see 'Iruka' finish pulling out the Icha Icha book and then throw it. Sasuke caught it fluently then the two boys took off while the opportunity was there.

Naruto and Sasuke huddled down in front of the book to look together at the gold mine of sexual information. They rolled their eyes at the first few lines which was all seduction. Quickly growing tired of the dates, Sasuke flicked ahead a few pages._ Ahh here is something interesting…_

'_the kisses were deep and passionate, they hadn't known each other long but it was long enough for them both to feel that they had waited their whole lives for this. This one moment where they would finally come together, their bodies becoming one with their hearts…'_

Sasuke snorted._ What a load of rubbish._ He scanned down.

'_They were ready, both of them.__Kano(__1)__ reached down slowly to prepare Tadao(__2)__ while he -'_

The book snapped shut before their eyes. Both Naruto and Sasuke blinked in confusion before seeing the arm holding the book that belonged to neither of them. Following it along they traced the action back to its owner. One curious looking silver haired pain in the arse.

"RUN AW-" both boys were cut off as the older Nin grabbed the back of their shirts, halting them in their tracks.

"Enough of this running away… though watching you waving your hands about in such a comical manner amuses me…" he drifted off for a moment before he refocused on them.

"First you disguise yourself as me" (to a pouting Naruto)

"Then you try to spy on me" (to a rather red Sasuke)

"Now I find out that my supposed lo- ah, dolphin- was actually my student" all three of them shuddered

"And that said student has stolen my literary novel" Sasuke raised an eyebrow while Naruto snorted.

"What is going on?"

They stood in silence for a few moments, none of the trio backing down. The pervert junior raised an eyebrow and Naruto cracked.

"Ok, ." As soon as the words were out of his mouth Naruto flushed bright red.

Ninjas have pretty good hearing and so the silver haired Nin was pretty sure of what he had heard but nonetheless he turned to Sasuke for confirmation.

"As a rough translation, I'm assuming he just said that you two wanted to know how to have gay sex?" Sasuke's only response was to drop his head and glare at the ground in front of him a pink hue to his cheeks.

"And that being a yes, you two are now an item and as a last ditch attempt you need me to tell you how it is done?" the avengers gaze quickly lowered further, his blush deepening.

The copycat Nin's eye curved up happily, "ok boys make yourselves comfortable you are about to receive the (rather late) modified talk." Both boys groaned but sat anyway.

After the talk both boys hurriedly departed from Kakashi and headed back to Narutos. As Sasuke shut the door with a quiet click behind him, Naruto turned, the tension between them almost tangible. Cerulean met with onyx and Sasuke was sparked into action. He moved to Naruto fluidly and brought their lips together in a searing and passionate kiss. The heat where they touched was almost unbearable but as the lust consumed them both boys wanted more. Clothing was shed onto the floor uncaring of where it landed as long as it wasn't between them, the kisses travelled across necks and jaws, hands explored as minds grew foggy with desire. Naruto leant back onto the wall, unable to support himself as he turned to mush with Sasukes touches. The raven followed caging Naruto in his arms. Sasuke spoke with a low and husky voice.

"Bed or however far we make it?"

Naruto responded in a low whisper the words also low. "I don't care…" he returned to kissing the Uchihas jaw, making his way to just below Sasukes ear, "just make it soon."

Despite the stoic attitude of the avenger he decided to be nice and chose bed. He practically dragged Naruto to the bedroom at a run. Reaching the edge of the bed he turned and took Narutos face in his hands and kissed him again, both boys lowered to the bed, neither breaking away. Thighs brushed groins and hands ran over chests as both boys lost themselves in the sensuality of what they were doing.

Sasuke broke the kiss to look around,

"Naruto, do you have some hand lotion or something?"

Naruto rolled over and rummaged through his bedside drawer.

"Ahh here."

Sasuke opened the bottle and poured a little onto his hand. Leaning back down he began to kiss, lick and nip at and around Narutos nipples while gently fisting him. He then carefully inserted one of his slickened fingers into Naruto, stopping when he felt his lover tense and reassuring him softly. When the blonde had relaxed Sasuke continued adding a second. He scissored his companion, stretching him and preparing him. He brushed against a spot which had Naruto cry out and clutching the bed sheets.

"Sa-sasuke d-do that again"

Sasuke complied with Narutos wishes and brushed the spot again, getting the same reaction. He smirked and then began to tease the spot eliciting some of the most arousing sounds from his lover.

When he deemed him ready, Sasuke removed his fingers, receiving a whimper of loss from Naruto. He gave a soft smile,

"Don't worry Naruto it's going to get better."

Positioning himself, Sasuke slid slowly into Narutos encompassing heat, allowing the vocal boy to adjust. Beginning slowly, they gradually worked up a rhythm and pace. Sasuke was amazed by the tightness and wonderful heat which surrounded him. Naruto was almost completely gone with pleasure and lust. Naruto gasped

"Sasuke I'm gonna"

Sasuke just sped up as he too was nearing his completion.

He swooped down and kissed Naruto deeply, tongues dancing in passion and emotion. They reached their climax together, crying out each other's names with their release. Sasuke slipped out of Naruto as they then lay together, basking in the afterglow of their activities. Naruto gave a small tired contented smile to the youngest Uchiha. Sasuke pulled his lover into his arms and they drifted off to sleep, grateful of Kakashi's advice.

The boys stared in horror at the silver haired Nin. _THAT WAS HIS VERSION OF THE TALK?_ the silver haired nin smiled

"And now you lovebirds know." Naruto and Sasuke shot up off the ground

"What the hell was that? You just turned our relationship into freakin' porn!" Naruto yelled!

the former ANBU just smiled with a shrug and gave them the peace sign before going back to his Icha Icha book. Naruto and Sasuke ran away from the pervert junior with Sasuke uncharacteristically yelling "I'm telling Iruka!"

the jounin almost dropped his book...

"NOOO!"

But the boys were already gone.

The boys were panting by the time they reached Narutos house. Naruto turned to Sasuke and fiddled with his key.

Sasuke moved forward his lips hovered near Narutos for a kiss. Just before the boys reached their destination both stopped with a shake of their heads.

"I can't do this. Not now"

"Nor can I, I'm still haunted by the pain in the arses idea of the talk" both boys winced and shuddered. Both suddenly gripped their hair in frustration and yelled "YOU FUCKING COCK BLOCK!" before disappearing their separate ways before they could be haunted more by the images conjured by the silver haired Nins matching tongue

* * *

><p>1) Japanese boys name meaning<p>

"one's masculine power, capability".

(2) Japanese boy's name meaning

"complacent; satisfied"

A/N: in this fic I did not state the ages of Sasuke and Naruto, they are old enough to have sex! They are not underage! I am aware that Kakashi states that Naruto isn't old enough to be in the adult shop but hey, it was for the story. Also I would like to point out that in Australia you can have sex at 16 but wouldn't be allowed in an adult shop until 18. Doesn't make sense I know…

Also, I am fully aware that at their age, Sasuke and Naruto would understand the concept of anal sex, again it was for the story. So anyway, after making those clarifications enjoy and review!


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